


lucid dream

by celestialyong



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Cutting, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Relationship(s), Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, There is no fluff, dance practice, they make up again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-03-07 08:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialyong/pseuds/celestialyong
Summary: after daniel breaks up wih jihoon, everything in jihoon's life went down. he lost confidence, started hating himself and couldn't even be in the same room with daniel anymore. and one day, he exploded and hurt himself. and after that, he took a pause and ran away. daniel however realized that what he did was incredibly wrong and follows him.





	1. lucid

,, jihoon, can we talk for a second? '' daniel asked one evening, walking slowly into the room jihoon was in, destroying jihoon's peace alone in the room he shared with his other four teammates.

the younger boy looked from his phone, imediately loosing at the game he played, a frown on his face before he swung himself up from his bed and nodded, telling daniel indirectly to come over and sit down beside him which he instantly did without any words. from the beginning on, daniel weirdly knocking before entering the room, standing weirdly between the door, asking him to talk, from that moment on, jihoon already knew that something was up, that something was completely wrong. daniel behaved weird, he never did that, he never did. and that's something jihoon noticed immediately.

after daniel sat down beside him, a silence appeared, a silence that makes you want to go away and hide yourself, a silence that makes everything worse than it already was. jihoon quickly shook his head, emptying his sudden thoughts before looking to the side to daniel, to his boyfriend who was staring outside the window, probably thinking about something. 

,, daniel? '' jihoon slowly and carefully mumbled, shaking the older boy out of his thoughts, making him look at jihoon with wide eyes. ,, you wanted to talk, right? what's up? ''

daniel nodded before sighing very big if you might add before he took jihoons hands into his. as soon as daniels hands touched jihoons, the young male could feel the sweat on them, signalling that something indeed was up with daniel. and not gonna lie, he didn't like it, not even one small bit. daniel never acted like this. not even when he was sick and nervous. ever since jihoon started to get to know him, daniel was always been the happy, energetic puppy and even during their relationship, daniel still continued to stay happy. him being quiet and being scared now meant that something was up and that something was bothering him. 

,, jihoon, i'm sorry. '' was all he said after jihoon's thoughts, making his mind run even faster and with more energy.

'sorry' can mean lots of things and can be used in literally all situations to aplogize but no matter how hard jihoon thought, he couldn't find one single reason why daniel would aplogize to him. he never did anything bad to him, why would he even aplogize? he just couldn't find the reason for why he's aplogizing right now. daniel was and still is a pure angel, a total sweetheart that can't even hurt a fly. he was always taking care of everyone. now suddenly hearing sorry from him made jihoon panic. 

,, why are you sorry? '' jihoon asked, leaning closer to his boyfriend, scaning his face very carefully, trying to find any hints on what's up with him. he still couldn't find any. ,, what's wrong? what happened, daniel-hyung? please talk to me. ''

another sigh of daniels was all he got. then he quickly detached his hands from jihoons and moved them up to his hair, messing it up a bit before running through it with his fingers. it was obvious to probably everyone on the earth that daniel was more than nervous. he was 100% nervous and scared from or about something. daniel's eyes quickly moved from side to side, not being able to decide what to look at to make him less nervous. 

and during all that time, jihoon's heartbeat slowly rose and rose only upwards. daniel's acting made him scared as well, it made him nervous and made him think about the worst scenarios that could've happened. but still, not even one single thing explained what was going on at the moment. the scene was weird and was unexplainable at the moment. 

,, i'm sorry, jihoonie, but we can't be together anymore. ''

it was so quiet inside the room. way too quiet.

you couldn't even hear the many quick breaths jihoon took.

he couldn't breath, he couldn't even hear his heartbeat, he coudln't hear anything at all. his ears were paralized, his whole heart was too shocked to move.

staring at daniel, mouth wide open, his eyes filled with pure fear, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say.

,, what? '' jihoon whispered, his voice weak and totally done, his voice showing that he was clueless about why. he was more than shocked. he was speechless and his mind being a mess right now didn't help at all. ,, i don't understand anything at all. daniel, what's wrong? what did i do wrong? why do you suddenly want to break up? i don't understand... ''

daniel only shook his head and let out a small laugh, a small giggle, before standing up, his head turned in the opposite direction of jihoon, looking towards the door. his eyes didn't meet jihoon's ones. he stood like this in the room, his body turned towards the door, his eyes not meeting jihoon's at all.

,, nothing, jihoon, nothing. you did nothing wrong. but i had no other choice. it needed to be done. it's time to break up, i guess. i'm sorry, i really am, trust me. but i had no other choice, jihoon. '' he finally said, his head now turning towards jihoon, his eyes also watering slowly.

jihoon's presence was terrible.

tears were rolling down his face, wetting it, making it ugly, wetting his whole cheeks and rolling down his cheeks towards his chin where they dropped to his hands with a small sound. his eyes were red, red from all the crying, red because of all his feelings he felt at the moment. everything was crushing down in front of him, everything including daniel and his relationship to him. it was destroying him, completely destroying him completely inside. he was getting destroyed at the moment and very faintly in the background, you could hear jihoon's heart exploding and breaking.

,, but why? '' jihoon cried, whispering. he was completely done, that was something everyone could hear just by his voice alone. it was raw, raw from the crying he already did. it was quiet and less strong like it always was. it was small, completely small and sounded like you could destroy it any second now. it sounded as fragile as glas 

daniel shook his head fast before saying the words 'nothing' over and over again.

and for jihoon, 'nothing' is not enough of a reason. he couldn't understand, couldn't understand anything daniel just said. in his mind, it didn't make any sense at all. just yesterday, not even 24 hours ago, the two of them were cuddling, hugged against each other, wrapped between and in the blankets, kissing each other softly with love, telling each other how much they loved each other. how can their relationship change this fast from something soft and beautiful to something so wrong and false? what made daniel change his mind?

jihoon didn't know. but he wanted to know, he needed to know. he quickly stood up, his steps angry and powerful. he practically ran over to daniel, grabbing his shoulder and ripping him around, making and forcing daniel to look in his eyes. daniel's eyes were wet too, probably because of the same reason as jihoon's. daniel also seemed to be sad. but that didn't matter in that second. jihoon wanted answers and answers only. he needed answers to all the questions he had at the moment.

,, why? why, daniel? '' jihoon shouted, his voice strong and angry now, ringing through the halls, echoing through the dorm. daniel's eyes widened, not expecting jihoon to explode so soon with such power. he clearly saw how angry and emotional jihoon was right now, it was also somehow scary. jihoon never was a scary person, but when he actually was, it was beyond scary. ,, give me a reason why you would want to break up with me, daniel. i'm not going to loose you so easily, no. i'm not just gonna give up everything we've gone through this easily. '' 

daniel lowered his head only to feel jihoon gripping his chin, forcing it upwards again. jihoon was pissed, beyond pissed and overly tired and sad. he was feeling so many different feelings at once, making all of them a huge mess, not knowing what he's doing right now. it was all way too much for him to handle. he couldn't even control his own body anymore. it did what it wanted to. 

jihoon took one step closer to his ex-boyfriend. ,, daniel, please at least give me a reason. give me at least one small reason. i don't care what it may be, you could even tell me a lie straight in the face, i don't care. just give me a goddamn reason on why you're leaving exactly now, exactly today, exactly now. just do that one thing, alright? ''

but slowly and slowly, daniel was getting close to his edge as well, his eyes filled with anger now too. jihoon made daniel pissed. and that's where jihoon finally noticed how real this situation is, that daniel is definitely not joking right now and that he meant every single word from earlier, that he really is breaking up with him at the moment.

,, you know, park jihoon, there are many reasons why i'm leaving you, there are so unbelievable many, you can't and probably won't believe me. most of them are so obvious, however you yourself can't see them. so many have seen them already, our members and even fans. only you can't see them. it's so irritating and annoying. you want a reason? sure, you will get one. you, jihoon. you are the reason, jihoon. you being you is the reason why i'm leaving you. '' daniel growled, leaning forward to jihoon's face, making him flinch backwards with both fear and shock. now it was turned around, jihoon being scared while daniel had the control over everything that was happening now. daniel was way stronger than jihoon. ,, we are done, park. we are completely done so leave me the fuck alone and go bother someone else with your annoying persona. ''

that's all daniel said before he left jihoon alone in his room, crying to himself, too shocked to even move one muscle. he was standing there, tears flowing down his cheeks, crying all to himself in the middle of the room. daniel's words hurt him, hurt him more than anything else ever did. it hurt so damn much, so unbelievable much. before jihoon even noticed, he ran over to the door, slamming it close, running over to his bed and throwing himself in his bed, crying into his wet pillow.

jihoon's day started off so well, it was so damn beautiful and nice. and then now, the evening, everything broke. everything including daniel.

jihoon couldn't remember how he fell asleep that day, he couldn't remember anything except daniel's words that slowly burned themselves into his brain, destroying cell after cell, destroying his feelings second after second. they fucking hurt more than anything else ever was able to do.

the next day was slow, so slow. jihoon woke up, totally emotionless, telling his manager that he's feeling unwell and shit and that he won't and can't be attending practices today. immediately after that, all his members, all except daniel, walked over to him and asked him what's up, what's wrong and how they can help him. the feeling of feeling loved was pretty nice and really helped the young 18-year old. however as soon as he remembered daniel's words, him saying that they know of his annoying parts, that they also hate them, that feeling faded away. after that, jihoon was close on crying again, excusing himself and walking back to his own room, closing the door with a loud bang.

during that time, daniel watched them from a bit far, examining how jihoon acted, how he was once again close on crying again. he didn't do or say anything against it though, he just watched him.

as soon as jihoon entered his room, he headed straight to his bed, falling inside the soft cushion once again, beginning to cry again. it was all way too much for him to handle and it hurt so much, so unbelievable much.

suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand laid itself uppon jihoon's back, touching him slowly and carefully as if jihoon's body is the thinnest glass. he whirled around, his eyes big and wide, totally scared, scared that daniel might be back again, back to hurt him to death again. it wasn't daniel though.

he met jinyoung's dark eyes, jinyoung's concerned face. as soon as he realized that it was jinyoung, jihoon's body instantly relaxed under jinyoung's touch, letting him try to calm him down at least a bit, his eyes going back to the normal size of his'. jinyoung seemed to know what's going on with jihoon, he knew something was up with him. his concerned gaze never leaving jihoon out of his sight. after the younger male of the two was sure that jihoon calmed down a bit, he sat down beside him, letting his body fall down beside jihoon, sitting right next to him.

jihoon remained silent, not saying once single word to his friend, not even looking in his direction.

,, jihoon, what's going on with you and daniel? '' jinyoung slowly and quietly whispered, making jihoon's heart start thumping with fear again. jihoon didn't expect people to immediately find out. ,, i don't want to force you to anything, i don't want you to force you to tell me what happened. that's definitely not what i want. i just want you to know that we all are noticing that something's wrong between the two of you, something bad, something that made you fight. please remember that we will always stay behind you, always, no matter what. it's our job to make both you and daniel happy again. and we will do that, no matter what it takes. and added to that, please know that you can always tell me everything. i will always be there for you if you need me, jihoon. ''

jinyoung's words were filled with truth and truth only. jihoon has known jinyoung for such a long time already. he knew when jinyoung lied and he knew when jinyoung told the truth. and now, the words he just said, they were the truth. and the truth made jihoon cry once again.

he wanted to let everything out,to tell jinyoung what happened and how daniel made him feel, how he made him feel more worthless than a piece of trash. but he couldn't. he can't tell him. for what reason, he doesn't know. he only knows that his guts tell him to not tell jinyoung anything at all.

so all he did was nod, nod to everything jinyoung said before starting to cry again. jinyoung saw that, leaning down and wrapping his arms around jihoon's body, pressing himself on jihoon's back, showing him that he will protect him and that he will try everything in his power to make his friend happy again, that he will always be there for the male. the two of them continued to stay that way, jinyoung half on top of jihoon, hugging the life out of him, presing his face into jihoon's soft, small back.

they couldn't stay like this for long though. not long after, after around 5 minutes, someone knocked on the door, telling jinyoung to come out and leave with them to go to practice. the person who knocked didn't come inside though, something jihoon is more than thankful for. jinyoung seemed like he had troubles detaching himself from jihoon, his body wanting to stay here and comfort his friend. but he had no other choice then follow the words and leave.

before jinyoung left, he turned around and looked at jihoon with a stern, however still concerned gate. ,, i will come back as soon as possible so please rest and sleep as much as possible and try not to think all too long about the events of yesterday. just stay in bed and sleep instead. i will come back directly after practice. ''

jihoon nodded, giving him a small smile before telling him something he was sure of, something he really wanted to say since the moment jinyoung decided to come inside.

,, thank you, jinyoung. ''

\-----------------------

jinyoung told him to be careful, to go to sleep and rest as much as possible, to not think about daniel and what he did. that's what he told him a few days ago.

and now, being alone in the dorm again, jihoon decided to do the exact opposite of what jinyoung told him to.

jihoon once again thought about what daniel said, about what daniel meant and what those words meant, how they hurt him and how they attacked him. he indeed tended to show jihoon how much he hates him, how much he dislikes and detests him.

so jihoon decided to think more and more about everything, to go through each and every auestion that came into his head.

what if jihoon didn't exist? what if jihoon wouldn't have been a member of wanna one? what if someone else would be in wanna one instead of him? would his members be happy then? would daniel be happy then? would he then like jihoon more?

all of those questions made jihoon want to release the pain he had. the pain was growing each second and was slowly making it's way into his soft however weak heart, tugging on it and making the tears want to fall. and there was only one thing he could think of. it was something he never wanted to do, something he never wanted to even think about. and now, after the events of a few days ago, this was everything that was on his mind.

hurt himself, cut himself, destroy himself. that was all he wanted to do now.

everything just became to much for the teenager. and now since everyone was gone, since everyone left for practice, it made him be alone in the dorm. that was the perfect chance and moment for him to do it, for him to hurt himself. he didn't think about killing himself, he was definitely not that far into depression yet. he definitely was not. he enjoyed life, he enjoyed what he did as a living and enjoyed each second of his beautiful life.

jihoon slowly walked to the bathroom with tears in his eyes, with tears running down his cheeks. if anyone would walk in now, he would definitely be done. he would expose himself easily like that. but thankfully, also sadly at the same time, no one would be here for the next ten hours, making it both easy but also even more painful for the only male in the dorm.

he closed the door, taking the blade and placed it slowly on top of the skin on his right arm. he didn't want to, he really didn't. but this was the only way he could release the growing pain, to finally let go of it. him doing that would bring bad memories, it would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. but he needed to do that.

slowly, he ran the blade fast along his skin, cutting it with the speed he had very easily. after one second, red liquid slowly made it's way out of the cut, blood finally appearing. even with the first cut, jihoon sighed. it hurt, but it also felt refreshing.

after three more cuts on his pale skin, he decided to stop for the better, opening the door and taking the blade with him. he stored it away in his backpack, trying to hide it from all his members. if they would find out he cut himself, they would run totally amok. and that's the last thing jihoon wants at the moment.

he wants them to stay happy the way they've always been, to always smile and laugh. that's what jihoon wants for them. he doesn't want them to be concerned for him, he doesn't need concern from anyone.

after he stored the blade away, he put his t-shirt off and put a black sweater on. that way, no one would be able to say his cuts plus the blood wouldn't be able to appear that much on the fabric. that way, he wouldn't bring all the attention to him and it would look like nothing happened. and that's exactly what jihoon wants them to think.

sighing, jihoon let himself fall onto the bed he owned before closing his eyes, trying to find some sleep at least. it was hard, more than hard, but after almost two hours, jihoon's mind finally rested and let the young boy sleep.

\---------------------------------

one week later, jihoon still continued to cut himself secretly off of everyone else. he has started to get more active, slowly going out of his room and talking with the members. he still hasn't told anyone what happened and he for sure wouldn't do that. he didn't want to.

jihoon also started to attend their schedules, slowly getting back into business. he attended their dance practices and their music shows, but that's all. he wasn't ready to be on a variety show with the one who told him he hated him more than anything. the possibilty of jihoon suddenly crying then would be very high and jihoon doesn't want that to happen, not even in his dreams. their manager let him off everything except dance practices which jihoon is more than thankful for. he probably noticed that jihoon's not in his best mood to actually do something.

during the whole time, he made sure to always wear long-sleeved t-shirts or sweaters in order to hide his arm. he didn't even look at the t-shirts inside his wardrobe. the reason is that his arm didn't look all that healthy anymore, everywhere cuts, from left to right, from the top to the bottom. he doesn't want anyone to see them. and so far that worked.

until one day.

it should've been a normal day for all members of wanna one, practicing, practicing and going home again, afterwards going to sleep and resting as much as possible. but it was completely different.

during their practice for 'burn it up', jihoon accidentely crushed against daniel's shoulder where they gathered in one straight line which resulted in him falling on the floor because of daniel's strength, interrupting their dance. that wasn't the problem at first. it wouldn't've been a problem if that certain something happened... the problem was that jihoon rolled on the floor which made his both of his sleeves go up, showing some of his cuts.

the music got stopped by someone, probably their dance teacher. meanwhile, daniel stared down at him, directly on his arm, watching his cuts with big eyes. even though jihoon couldn't recognize what he was thinking about, jihoon finally understood what happened and why daniel was staring at his arm.

he immediately stood up, brought his sleeve down again, avoiding eye contact with everyone before he quickly excused himself, wanting to dissapear from the scene as fast as possible. he didn't got far though.

during his run towards the door, jinyoung immediately seemed to know what jihoon's plan was and ran off his spot directly towards jihoon where he pressed himself in front of the door, blocking it and making jihoon's whole escape a failure. he glared at jinyoung, throwing him an annoyed and angry gaze before someone interupted him.

,, jihoon... what was that on your arm? '' a voice from behind him appeared. once jihoon looked back, he saw all of the members standing there, all of them, everyone with open eyes, even daniel. daniel's eyes were still fixated on his arm.

the voice who asked was jisung who was the most concerned one at the moment. he has always been the mother of everyone so him being the most concerned one at the moment was understandable. he has always been taking care of all of them since produce 101, always acting like their mother, always being concerned for all of his friends. that thing hasn't changed and probably won't ever change.

jihoon faced jinyoung again, looking down at the floor. he hadn't had the courage to actually look at his members. he was feeling shit at the moment, totally shit. he felt like it was the end for him, he felt like everything was slowly crushing down in front of his own two eyes

,, nothing. '' jihoon answered, this time earning a stern glance from jinyoung who was still blocking the door with all his strenght. ,, there was absolutely nothing, hyung. i don't know what you're talking about. ''

,, jihoon... '' a certain, a very special, voice suddenly said and it took everything jihoon had in order not to break down that second. it took all of his energy to actually continue to stand on his own two feet.

daniel actually decided to talk to him after one week. he finally said someone to him. after one week he was talking with him again. even though it was only one word, only his name, jihoon was close on crying again. however him finally talking to him pnviosuly had to be in the worst scenario. and added to that, jihoon wasn't even ready to talk with him yet. he succeded in ignoring him the most time and now talking with him is the worst.

,, jihoon, i'm sorry. '' daniel said, walking slowly towards the young male. ,, i'm sorry for what i've done that evening and for how much i've hurt you. i never wanted to hurt you. ''

those two words made jihoon laugh loud. he didn't believe them, not one word of what daniel just said. he giggled before rubbing his eyes, rubbing the tears that appeared away. after he was sure of himself, sure that he won't crush down that instant, he slowly turned around to finally face daniel after the huge incident that happened, finally meeting eyes with him again.

,, sorry? '' jihoon asked, his voice clearly showing how much he actually believed of what daniel said. ,, you are sorry? you come to me after all that shit, after all that useless and unexplainable shit and once you actually saw what you've done, you have the nerve to tell me you're sorry? why exactly now, huh? what made you say sorry? if you wouldn't seen that, when would you've talked to me, huh? ''

 

daniel never adverted his eyes away from jihoon's. he actually listened, listened to what jihoon ranted off his mind. behind him, everyone else was also listening, finally receiving information for what happened between the two of them. and apparently daniel also didn't tell anyone what happened. he, just like jihoon, didn't tell anyone even though he was the one who broke all connections with him off.

 

,, so you really did hurt yourself? '' daniel asked after a silence, looking at him with curios eyes, wanting to finally know the real answer, totally drifting off of what jihoon was ranting about. jisung slowly moved beside him, also looking at him with the same eyes, full with concern and demand to finally know what happened.

so jihoon answered. he walked right in front of them, maybe only a arm fitting between them. then, he gribbed the edge of his sleeve and ripped it up, now finally revealing all of his cuts. they were ugly, that's what jihoon thought himself. he was sure everyone else would also find them ugly, maybe even disgusting. that's why he never intended on showing them.

,, here's your answer, kang. ''

once jisung saw them, his eyes widened instantly before he immediately turned around, trying his best to hold the tears in, in which he sadly failed. everyone was depressed once they actually saw that their winkboy hurt himself. the boy who usually was happy and cheerful hurting himself was something they never wanted to see. they never wanted to see a member of wanna one coming to the point of hurting himself and now that it actually has come to the point, they were speechless and beyond depressed, not knowing what to do or what to say.

daniel's eyes widened too but before he could even say a word, before he could even move one single inch of his whole body, jihoon turned around, the tears now flowing out of his eyes like watefalls, ripping jinyoung with all his strength away from the door and running out of it before anyone could even take a single breath.

everyone was shocked, they were far beyond simply being shocked. their hearts stopped completely, no single thing hearable inside the dance room that not even ten minutes was full with steps, breaths and loud music.

jinyoung was the first one who broke the silence. him being one of jihoon's closer friends actually showed him how dramatically jihoon's mood and motivation sank after his and daniel's last talk. probably anyone could see and even feel that. but after what happened, to which point everything was being lead, jinyoung's patience completely blowed up and exploded.

he quickly turned around and looked straight at daniel was hateful and anger filled eyes, taking a few steps closer towards him before he finally reached his older friend and teammate.

,, daniel, could you please tell us what the fuck happened? '' jinyoung growled at his older member, his eyes filled with tears as well. everything was escalating too fast. ,, what did you do to make jihoon destroy himself that much? daniel... please just tell us. you yourself just saw what happened, please just tell us so we can help you to make everything in order again. please... ''

daniel's head only sank to the ground after he heard jinyoung continuing to beg, beg his whole heart out. it hurt him to see what happened because of him. he himself was more than shocked to see what happened because of him. never ever would have thought that something like this would've happened. and now that it actually happened, he regretted it more than anything else in his life.

,, i broke up with him one week ago. '' daniel slowly and carefully started, still looking at the floor only. he was choosing his words very carefully in order to let everyone else stay as calm as possible at the moment. ,, if i knew that something like this would happen, i would've done anything, legit anything, to make everything alright again. i promise that. i never wanted to hurt jihoon that much. heck, i never wanted to hurt him even only a bit. ''

jinyoung looked at him, straight at him before someone joined his side. looking up to that person, daniel saw minhyun, his face filled with sadness and tears as well.

,, it was rather obvious that something happened between the two of you. that's something we all noticed. it's practically impossible to not notice the tension between the two of you. '' minhyun said, his voice raw, most likely from all the crying he already did. minhyun has always been a calmer person, he was good in holding things inside him. but now, minhyun always having been wanna one's dad, taking care of them like their dad, always taking care of all of them, he was more than ready to release all of his thoughts and feelings at once.

,, we know you broke up. we noticed that very early alread. you two didn't do anything together, you two stayed apart from each other and you both stopped smiling like usual. the question we all had since day one was why? '' jinyoung slowly mumbled, completing minhyun's unsaid question that lay in the air like dust. ,, why did you break up with him? what is or was your reason to suddenly out of nowhere break up with him? i've seen the way you looked and still look at him, daniel. i know you're still completely in love with him, so why? ''

ashamed, at the same time utterly sad, beyond sad even, daniel closed his eyes. everything jinyoung said was right, more than right even. he was heads over heels with jihoon, he still loved him so much. but everything was slowly getting too much for him.

all those variety show appearances, all those dance practices, all those music show appearances, everything was slowly making daniel more tired than he ever was before. at first, it was bearable and fun. it was amaying for him to suddenly see how famous he was and what effect he had on the whole country and even what effect he had overseas. he was more than happy to show what skills he has and what kind of person he actually was, how muhc he enjoyed to smile and laugh. he had fun in every show he was. but as time passed by, daniel grew more tired to the point where he even fell asleep during filming.

everything tore the whole energy out of his strong-looking, however in reality fragile and soft, body. he got tired easier and couldn't get the sleep he actually had to have since day one. he had to go from place to place, film a series and episode, fly overseas for a concert and fanmeeting, then back to korea for variety shows again and on and on. daniel was way too busy for him to actually continue like usual.

and continuesly, during all those many busy moments on screen and off screen, he always thought about jihoon, about his, now, ex-boyfriend. he always thought about how jihoon deserved more, how jihoon deserved more love and affection. he wanted jihoon to feel way more special and way more loved. he wanted to actually show him how much he meant to him, how much he needed him and how happy he was to have jihoon in his life.

but he couldn't show him all of that. he was always away from jihoon, always miles away from his love.

he broke up with him because he felt ashamed, because he couldn't show jihoon how much he actually deserved.

,, jihoon deserves better than me, that's why. '' daniel slowly and quietly mumbled after a while. even though he spoke really quiet, everyone next to him, all of his members, they all heard him completely fine and perfect. ,, jihoon deserves so much more than me, he deserves so much love, so much affection. and i couldn't even give him a kiss back when we went to japan. ''

slowly, everyone understood the real reason why daniel broke up with their winkboy, they finally seemed to realize the truth behind daniel's words. daniel didn't say the truth, it was hidden behind his words. but wanna one already knowing their puppy more than enough, they already noticed what he meant since he started explaining why.

,, daniel, listen very careful now, okay? '' jinyoung said, taking a step closer to his older friend and slowly wrapping his arms around him, pressing his smaller and fragiler body close to daniel's muscles. ,, do you know how much jihoon actually loves and adores you? he didn't care that you were busy the whole time, he was not sad nor was he depressed. instead, he was more than happy and excited for you. whenever you went to film, he always told woojin and me how happy he was for you, how excited he was to already watch the episode on tv, how happy he was that you're finally famous. he always looked up to you and still does. he never complained that you weren't here. he knew you were having fun on cast and he knew that you wouldn't want him to be sad. he loved and still loves you so much, daniel. and now, he misses you so much. you being away from him hurts and changes him to the bad slowly. he needs you in his life. you breaking up with him has to be one of the worst things you have done in your whole life. jihoon isnt the fluffy boy he always was anymore and that's practically mainly only your fault. however, you can change him back to his usual self again, you can make him soft and smiley again. so don't just stand here and cry with us. go after him and tell him the truth yourself. jihoon will listen to you and he will probably also accept your aplogize if you tell him the whole truth. ''

daniel teared up at jinyoung's words. he knew they were the truth, the whole truth. he knew jihoon better than anyone else in this world, he knew that what jinyoung said fits perfectly to jihoon, something jihoon for sure would say even if daniel would've been by his side during that time. he missed jihoon too, he missed him so damn much.

after the last words of jinyoung, the young male distanced himself from daniel, and shoved daniel in the direction of the door in which jihoon disapeared in a few minutes ago. after that, he shoved and pushed daniel towards it.

,, now, go after him and bring the jihoon we adore back. '' jinyoung said.

that's all daniel needed to hear before he literally ran if in direction of the dorm, running so fast that everyone was already scaref of just seeing him. daniel's face was stained with tears, his grey hair flying around in the air which hit his face like strong wind. his legs ran as fast he they could. jinyoung's words brought him back to reality and gave him a push, the push to finally make everything right again. and he took that chance.

as soon as he reached their dorm though, his sudden energy and confidence flew away like sudden wind. as soon as he ripped the door open, the door making a sound when it knocked against the wall, he stared into the empty hallway of their dorm. he was met with nobody and absolutely nothing. the dorm was empty, empty like no one ever was here and no one even lived here. carefully, daniel entered the dorm without making a sound, looking around, looking especially for jihoon.

he was met with nothing though, nothing except a note lying on top of jihoon's messy bed. the messy bed showed daniel that jihoon was here earlier, that he was here before suddenly disapearing like nothing into nothing. he entered jihoon's room as quiet and careful as possible. he looked around once again.

all of jihoon's used clothes during dance practice were on the ground, the door to the wardrobe wide open, all of jihoon's clothes suddenly gone. jihoon was gone.

the tears slowly started falling down daniel's cheeks, wetting the way they slowly went down, leaving a wet stain and trail upon them. he made his way to the bed, sitting on it and taking the note left behind into his hands, opening it and making it ready to finally read.

 

,, hello my fellow members.  
i dont't know who of you is reading this first, maybe even you all together, who knows at this point. i'm sorry for everything bad i've done and was about to do. i decided to take a small break. you don't have to worry about me at all, i'm really fine and i'm in a safe place where i'm staying at the moment. i will come back someday, the exact day when i'll come back is still unknown to both me and you all. please don't worry about me. and also tell daniel that i'm sorry for everything and that i hope he's fine and happy at the moment. please tell him that i hope the best of the best for him.

\- your winking jihoon ''

at the end of jihoon's note, tears finally fell down on the paper. those tears belonged to daniel himself who was everything but fine at the moment.

he was too late.


	2. dreams

the next few days of daniel's life passed by like wind. they were uneventful and truly rather boring. they were filled with nothing, absolutely nothing. he mainly stayed at their dorm, not having the motivation to even stand up from his bed anymore, just staying inside the soft cushions of his bed for the whole day and the whole night. he felt like pure shit and was still blaming himself for everything that happened, for absolutely everything that happened since that day. wanna one's manager allowed daniel to take a break from all group activities, making wanna one perform as a group of nine for the time being.

ymc did a statement about jihoon, telling their fans that he will be absent from group activities because he decided to take a break due to personal reasons and that he will be back sooner than they probably expect. many fans were frightened, scared, and wanted to know what happened, why jihoon took a break. they were concerned and worried for the usual energetic winkboy. ymc also did a statement regarding daniel. his however said that he was simply just sick at the moment and couldn't even walk properly anymore which is why he will rest and stay away from activities that may harm his body. probably more than half of that statement was a whole lie, but the rest of it was true. he wasn't sick, he actually was perfectly fine. his body and mind however were damaged, not finding one piece of rest and comfort, completely destroyed and not working well.

wanna one's manager and their ceo knows where jihoon is located at, they know where he's staying at the moment, they knew the perfect location of his. however, no matter how many times daniel asked for that specific location, no matter what he did and does, no matter who he askef for help, they won't tell him where jihoon is. they won't even give him a clue, not even a small one.

after jihoon left, daniel tried everything he could to find out where he was. he wanted to bring jihoon back and make him happy again. he wanted to make everything in order again. he wanted to make everything okay again but he couldn't. and the fact that he couldn't do that brought all his emotions down to the ground. that fact made him feel even more worse, he felt worse than shit. and added to all of that, jihoon's number got deleted on his phone. daniel of course knew jihoon's number by heart, having seen it and revised it multiple times. but that also didn't work.

jihoon blocked his number.

nowadaysm daniel didn't speak as often anymore, he didn't smile and laugh and he wasn't the energetic, overgrown, loud puppy he usually was anymore. he stayed most of the time in his room, the door locked. he locked away from the outside life. it was way to quiet in the dorms, the atmosphere dark and emotionless.

jisung and minhyun often came by, often came to him, asking him how he feels and how they can help him, if they can even help him. everyone of wanna one came by more than three times a day and tried their best to make daniel laugh and smile again. they were affected by the whole situation as well, it hurt them as much as it hurt daniel. seeing two of their members this weak and helpless made them feel like that too. they tried everything they could, every joke and every idea they had, but none of these things worked out in the end.

yet one day, woojin and jinyoung pracitcally ran inside daniel's room while breaking the door in, riping the door open with an unbelievable, huge force. to say daniel was surprised would be an understatement since daniel flinched into himself which resulted of him falling down of his bed, hitting the hard ground with a loud sound that earned the attention of all the members who one by one slowly came into the bed. they all looked rather shocked and surprised to see daniel moving again and added to that him being on the floor.

all of them except woojin and jinyoung.

they, those two young members, were furious, their eyes glaring at daniel with a shine, their foreheads crinkled. they looked more angry than a wolf, they were more angrier than daniel has ever seen them.

daniel actually wanted to just sleep through the day because he firstly had nothing to do and secondly, because he got no sleep whatsoever last night. he was way too much in thoughts lately which affected him. he couldn't sleep all that good anymore, even if he wanted to.

now seeing all his members in his room with him on the floor was truly something he never even imagined that day.

,, it's been days and now, i'm completely done and can't wait anymore. i want the truth, daniel. '' jinyoung suddenly growled, his glare getting even more angry and furious. he was practically looking down at daniel, his glare filled with nothing but hate and anger. ,, just tell us the whole truth this time, daniel. ''

daniel was purely shocked at first. he found his voice very soon afterwards though.

,, i told you everything already, jinyoung. i told you everything you had and have to know. '' daniel said. as soon as daniel's voice ran through the air, everyone could hear how much daniel went trough at the moment. his voice was raw from not speaking this whole time, it was more raw than his voice in the morning which already was deep enough as it was. you could already hear the hurt only from his first word. you could hear how damaged he actually was.

woojin however walked didn't care about that right now and walked closer to his older member, croutching down to him, staring directly into daniel's eyes. like jinyoung, his eyes only shot a angry glare at daniel, the hate once again seen in them. woojin seemed more angrier than jinyoung though.

his hand flew forward in a fast move, faster for daniel to actually see, his fingers curling around the collar of daniel's t-shirt before he hurled him upwards, dragging daniel's face closer to his own one. now, woojin was even more angrier. no one of the members have seen him this angry before, it was a whole new scene being unfold in front of their own two eyes.

,, daniel, it's time to stop this stupid, weird act. just tell us the truth. '' woojin snarled into daniel's face, making daniel flinch backwards once again. ,, we already know that you left out the most important details of that day. we know you only told us the situation that happened. there has to be something important you left because that thing you left out is probably the reason jihoon also blocked our numbers. ''

at those words, daniel's eyes flew wide open again.

,, wait a second... you were able to talk to jihoon? '' daniel only asked, his voice even more hurt now. he seemed really surprised.

woojin's and jinyoung's eyes seemed to soften for a short while at that sudden question. in the next second however, all of that so called softness dissapeared immediately from their eyes and their persona.

,, yeah, we were able to talk to him most of the time since the day he decided to leave. well, as woojin already said, we were able to. two days ago however, our phone only showed us that we were unable to connect the calls because jihoon blocked our numbers on his own phone. '' jinyoung started carefully, choosing his words very, very carefully in order to not hurt daniel more than he already was. even though he was angry at his older friend, he still tried not to hurt him more. ,, we tried calling him through other phones. in the end, we found out that he blocked all of our numbers. we aren't allowed to use our manager's phone but he probably blocked him too because he knows we'd try to call through that. what we still don't understand is why exactly he did that, there has to be a reason and after talking with guanlin, woojin and daehwi, we came to the conclusion that you must be the reason this happened. as woojin already said, there has to be an important detail you decided to leave out and that detail is most likely the reason jihoon doesn't want to talk to us anymore. ''

daniel's eyes adverted itself down to the floor. he did indeed leave out a important detail. he told jihoon that he himself was the reason for their breakup and that he has lots of things inside him that annoy everyone.

after daniel said those words to his, now, ex-boyfriend, he directly regretted them. he never wanted to say that, he never even thought about those words. they just slipped out due to the huge amount of stress he had at that moment. those days, the days when he broke up with jihoon, were filled with hard work and show appearances each day and each minute. he worked night and day. he didn't have any sleep at all and the stress only increased. and that's also where he decided to break it all off so jihoon can have his own peace and maybe even in the future get someone better than daniel.

he loved jihoon, he loved him to the moon and back, even further than that. daniel still loved jihoon so, so much and saying those things to the love of his life was probably the thing he regretted the most in his whole life. he hated himself for saying that, he hated himself so much for that.

but now, after all of their members confronted daniel with that missing detail, his head slowly began to explode. he had to tell them. it was his only choice at the moment and it was probably also the time to actually explain everything throughly without any lies or missing things.

jinyoung's stare still burned on his head. his stare was still strong, demanding in every way possible. he wanted to know what happened and even if jinyoung was younger than daniel, the older one had no other choice. he had to explain and that's exactly what he decided to do after all those stares and the weird and uncomfortable silence he got after receiving his answer to his question.

daniel sighed before starting his big talk. he didn't have any chance at all to prepare anything at all so he was already sure he would mess up more than ten times. but he still wanted to tell them the truth. he wanted to at least try to make something right again.

,, sit down, '' he said after sighing and patted to the spot beside him, signaling that all the others should sit down next to him on his bed.

daniel pressed himself further into the corner of his bed so more space will be free. in the end, jisung, minhyun, guanlin and sungwoon just simply decided to sit on the floor in front of daniel's bed due to the missing space on his bed. yes, the rest was pretty cuddled together on top of their center's bed but they didn't complain because they didn't care. they had better things to care for at the moment.

after all of them found their own place to sit at, they all looked into daniel's direction, right at the puppy sitting in the corner. only once everyone looked at him, daniel was beginning with his explanation. he wanted to make sure they will actually listen to him.

,, well, i don't know how to start because i never expected you all to suddenly appear here, especially today. but you were right, jinyoung. there is something i didn't tell you all. so far, only jihoon and i know that because, well, we were the reason that happened plus we were the only ones there back then. i don't know if jihoon's already told someone else but i know that i for sure didn't. '' he slowly started, looking directly on the cushion of their carpet. he didn't have any courage to look at any of his members. and added to that, he was ashamed to even look at them.

,, you all already know that jihoon and me broke up. yes, it did happen. '' daniel said, slowly starting, but got interrupted by a certain tall maknae that decided to sit on the floor.

guanlin coughed. ,, but why? why did you break up with him when you're still in love with him? ''

beside him, minhyun slapped him on his thigh, not strong enough to actually hurt him. he just sent a glare at their youngest member, whispered that he should stay quiet and looked back at daniel, giving him a nod so he can continue where he got cut off. guanlin adverted his eyes to the ground. daniel could see that he didn't actually want to ask a question like this, that it just slipped out of him accidentally.

and honestly said, guanlin's question didn't even attack or triggered daniel. not even a slight bit. that's mainly because he had all the rights to actually ask that question, he had all the rights to actually wonder why his older friend did that. nowadays, daniel asks himself that each day before going to sleep without the wink boy beside him who always used to smile at him before closing his eyes and hugging his boyfriend. daniel regrets breaking up with him. 

,, firstly, before i start to explain anything, i want you all to know that i indeed regret breaking up with him more than anything else and that i miss him so, so much. '' daniel mumbled, now closing his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing with closed eyes again. ,, now to the part where i explain what really happened. ''

everyone's eyes focused even more on daniel and if it would be possible, their ears turned in daniel's direction.

,, my week hasn't been the best back then. it was probably one of the worst ones i had since debuting. it was a busy week. i was working day and night, hour after hour and even second after second. i didn't got any sleep at all and all that time, i could only think about jihoon, how he would wait at our dorm for me to come back so we can go to sleep together. i was always away, always away from him. and yet he always waited for me till i came home. and after some time, i saw him less and less because of my schedule and i hated that. but even after that, he still waited for me. and someday, i thought that jihoon really deserves someone better than me, someone who's by his side all the time and isn't away from him each day. '' daniel finally started explaining.

each member listened more than carefully to all his words. they finally were about to get their questions answered, the questions they had for more than five days now. jinyoung's angry glare instantly got less angry, same with woojin and all the others.

,, i really thought and still think that he deserves someone way, way better than me. i am away from him 24/7... '' daniel mumbled.

this time, sugngwoon interrupted him, just like guanlin earlier. ,, daniel, excuse me for interrupting you, but even if you would've been busy for a month straight, a whole month away from jihoon, he would've still loved you more than anything else. jihoon loved you, he loved you so much, no matter if you were there by his side or not. ''

everyone else nodded, guanling muttering a low 'exactly'.

and daniel knew that, he definitely knew that.

,, so yeah, now to the part where i tell you what happened. that day, i walked into his room and asked him if he had time to talk. he immediately sensed that something was wrong and instantly asked me what's wrong. i had troubles breathing back then, it was so hard to not just crush down in front of him. and then i just told him that i want to break up with him. he was shocked at first, he looked at me with such big eyes and it was so quiet in his room. and then he lost himself. '' daniel continued with a raw and low voice, all the memories suddenly coming back to him and hitting him all at once at the same time. he closed his eyes, tight, before continuing again. ,, he asked me why, why i want to break up. i couldn't tell him the truth, the real reason why i wanted to break up with him because he would continue to fight with me so he asked me if he did something wrong to which i immediately said no to because he didn't do anything, he didn't do anything at all. it was all my fault after all and it still is. and then... he completely broke. ''

in front of daniel's eyes, the scene replayed itself. he could still see the look jihoon gave him, the tears in his face and his aura glowing with sadness and anger. that picture of his lover has been chasing him in his dreams since that day and no matter what he did or wanted to do, he couldn't forget it, not even a bit. he pressed his eyes even closer together, gulping the fear and sadness that suddenly came up down before coughing to get his voice together again.

everyone could see and sense how much daniel was and has been suffering till now. they could see how much he was hurting. daehwi, who's been sitting right beside daniel since he invited them to sit beside them to listen, slowly brought up his hand and patted daniel's back with it, carefully patting it.

it was a small gesture but it meant so much to daniel, it meant the world to him and gave him power and courage to actually continue to talk.

,, then he asked me to give him a reason and that's where i fucked up the most. i had no real reason, i had nothing. he glared at me, shouted at me, told me that i should give him a reason so i... '' daniel stopped, his eyes opening again, the tears now flowing down his cheeks without pause, wetting them.

everyone else immediately reacted upon seeing the tears on their center. they knew that daniel almost never cried, and now seeing him do that, broke them completely.

,, i fucking told him that he himself was the reason i broke up with him. i fucked up so much, i told him that he has things that he can't see. and that we all hate them so much. '' daniel cried, his head lowered into his hands. ,, i fucked up so much, i hurt him so much without actually wanting to. ''

daniel continued to cry, now letting the tears he hold inside for more than a week inside himself out. even though he let a huge stone fall off his shoulders, the pain inside his heart grew only bigger. daehwi brought his arms around daniel and hugged him tight to his own, smaller body. meanwhile, he still continued to pat his back. everyone else also brought themselves closer to daniel.

,, you indeed fucked up, daniel-hyung. '' jinyoung said, his head lowered, his gaze directed towards the floor. he seemed to be deep in thoughts. ,, you fucked up a whole time, a big ass time with that shitty, fucked up lie of yours. not only did you fuck your imagine up in front fo jihoon, but you also dragged us in without telling us about it. but the bigger question now is, what the fucking hell are you doing here? ''

jisung and minhyun glared at jinyoung because of the huge amount of swearing, their eyes directly on his jinyoung's ones. jinyoung didn't give any fucks at the moment though. he only shrugged jisung and minhyun's glare off. he didn't care what words came out of his mouth and how insulting they may be. he just rambled his thoughts off his head.

,, what do you mean? '' daniel whispered slowly, his head appearing behind daehwi's arms who are still around the center's body. his arms still decided to be around him though, they didn't even move one inch away from the posiition they were earlier.

jinyoung's eyes moved from jisung and minhyun to daniel's ones again.

,, i already said it, what are you doing here? '' he repeated, the seriousness practically seeable inside his dark eyes. ,, why are you still here with us? go, daniel. ''

daniel was clueless, he was completely confused and clueless. he didn't understand anything jinyoung just said. with tilted head, he asked a low and quiet 'what' again.

guanlin saw that daniel was a clueless puppy so he decided to help his friend. ,, what jinyoung actually meant is that instead of still sitting here on your bed, crying like a lost puppy while being hugged by daehwi-hyung, you should stand up, put on some better clothes and go after jihoon. instead of being here, you should follow him and go to him now because you still have the chance to actually make everything normal and better again. you still have a chance, daniel-hyung. jihoon hasn't moved on from you yet, he is still sad and heartbroken because of you and your break-up, he still loves you so, so much. but the thing is that we don't know when he actually decides to move on from you so run as long as you still have the chance to because someday later, you won't have that chance anymore and after that, everything will go down and down only. ''

for the first time in their whole life since debut and since produce 101, no one, absolutely no one of the wanna one members and no one of the produce 101 members have heard guanlin talk like that. guanlin talked so professionally. they were all impressed by him and his words, even daniel who used to cry not even a few seconds ago. but after ten seconds, daniel shook his head fast, focused his eyes on their maknae again and started asking again.

,, i would love to run after him, i would do it the second i got the chance to. the thing is, '' daniel said again, this time, with a more stable voice. ,, i don't have any idea where he is at the moment. i asked everyone, even our ceo and manager, but no one actually answered my question and told me to go just back to bed or back to practice. ''

,, he's at his mothers. '' jinyoung said.

and after daniel heard those words, after he finally found out where jihoon was located at, he removed daehwi's arms from his body, tried his best to not crush anyone of the members while climbing over them and running over to his closet, opening it and picking the best fittable clothes for the time being. he grabbed a huge, over-sizes hoodie and sweatpants, closed the door again and tried his best to put them on as fast as possible. behind his back, the other members slowly started glowing up again and start smiling. they knew that after daniel finally tells jihoon the truth, everything would go like usually again.

after daniel put on his clothes, he grabbed his phone and purse. before leaving his room though, he quickly turned around, nodded to his members who were still sitting on his bed and on the floor and whispered a low 'thank you' to all of them.

jinyoung and woojin smiled once again and waved to their older member who finally made his way out of the doorframe towards the main door.

daniel was finally on his way back to the love of his live to get him back again and to make everything between them fine again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone !!  
> i'm finally back with another chapter of this short and small fanfiction about our cute winkniel.
> 
> anyway, i decided to make a small change with this fanfic.  
> instead of two chapters, it will now have three ones.
> 
> before you start telling me that i should update quickly, i want to inform you all that i have troubles with school and tests at the moment and that i will move to a different country very soon so i have no actual idea when i will update again. i will try my best to write this when i have time for myself but i really can't promise to update this on a certain date. i will try to update it between two or three weeks from now on.
> 
> hopefully you aren't angry with me since it's not really my choice because i can't do anything against that.
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed this chapter and had fun reading it.


	3. are

today should've been a normal wednesday morning, a day which usually is spend with being at work, with people that are working their ass off while trying their best to get over with this day as fast as possible. many people already have thoughts of the weekend on wednesdays, thinking about what to do on the weekend and who to visit or what movie to watch. idols are performing, visiting shows and doing much, much more.

this morning looked completely different for daniel though.

these days, daniel was resting each second he got, being and staying in bed the whole time. he can't even remember when he last visited the practice rooms due to apparently ''being sick''. this morning though, daniel did more than he ever even imagined. he was more productive than he ever was the last few days.

his talk with his group members brought him his usual energy back and opened his eyes a lot, showed him what he should do. thanks to them, daniel finally found out where to search for jihoon and where to find him, where to find him again and make everything okay again. he was thankful, very thankful. he was so thankful for everything they did this morning. thanks to them, he finally got the energy to search jihoon again. thanks to them, everything might turn out okay in the end again.

now, staying inside the airport, his hands deep inside his pockets, daniel finally received his tickets to the place jihoon was staying at. he quickly bought them on his way there. with messy hair and weird, messy clothes, he finally received his tickets and waited on a bench for his flight. even though daniel was more than tired, he somehow felt absolutely no tiredness at all. he was more nervous and afraid of how jihoon will react. and most importantly, what he will say.

daniel was 100% sure that jihoon doesn't even expect daniel to suddenly stay in front of his door, he was sure that jihoon didn't even think of him nowadays. but he had to go to him, he simply had to. daniel wanted him back and he promised himself that he would do everything in order to get him back again. he had to do something.

sighing, daniel threw his head back and closed his eyes for a few seconds. he has been thinking about various scenarios about how jihoon can react and what jihoon may say. all of them have been far away from good so far and it was slowly destroying daniel's brain. he was getting more worried and worried each second that passed by him and that's been doing a good job on scaring him so far.

thankfully though, the announcement that the plane daniel was taking is available for entering now and that he should go to it now since the plane flies off in less than five minutes destroyed all of his thoughts. daniel opened his eyes again, shortly sighing before taking his bag he messily packed before leaving the dorm and making his way towards the entrance of his flight.

sitting inside the plane now, daniel was even more anxious. he quickly sat down on his seat before disapearing in his thoughts again.

he was on his way to jihoon. he was finally on his way to his lover.

he was still scared though and his heart started beating faster and faster each second. beside him sat a rather old lady who has watched over him the second he sat down next to her and her having lived through lots of years, she immediately noticed that something was off with the young man beside her.

,, is everything alright with you? do you need help? '' she carefully asked, a small smile on her lips. ,, do you need some water or something? ''

daniel flinched into himself. her words ripped the idol out of his deep thought about jihoon back into reality and he was actually thankful that she did it. he was once again back with the bad scenarios.

he shook his head before looking at her with a smile. ,, thank you so much for worrying over me but i really am fine. i'm just... a bit nervous, i guess? it's nothing to worry about. ''

she released a small giggle, still continuing to have the smile on her face. she seemed very nice so far and daniel was glad she actually decided to somehow distract him.

,, why? is it the first time you're on a plane? '' she then asked.

innerly, daniel laughed at that question a lot. daniel probably took more flights one day than she ever did in her whole life. he was busy, going to country to country, visiting probably three or four countries in one week. but he could never tell her that he's an idol. she probably doesn't know him, or maybe doesn't recognize him, but whatever it is, he was thankful that she doesn't recognize him. that made his situation much better.

daniel looked like shit at the moment. he was tired, bags under his eyes, his hair messy on top of his head like a birds nest, his clothes wrinkled. he shook his head once again.

,, no, i have been multiple times on a plane already. i've been often to america and also to japan and china so it's really not a big deal that i'm here. '' he answered with another smile of his. ''

at that, the old lady's head tilted itself ot the side. she looked slightly confused.

,, why are you this anxious then? everything should be fine, shouldn't it? '' she asked again. ,, where are you heading to? ''

one part of daniel wanted to tell her the truth. she seemed like a very nice person and definitely not everyone would start a conversation with a stranger on a plane. she had that motherly imagine and that made daniel respond to her. she also seemed like someone he could actually tell the truth to.

the other part of daniel refused to tell her anything at all. he was an idol. what if she actually knew who he was and decides to tell and write everything he said on the internet? what if she actually does that? daniel's image would be destroyed and not only his, but also jihoons and wanna one's in general. and he definitely doesn't want to do that.

so daniel decided to ask a question which of course everyone would laugh at. the question is indeed weird, but it meant a lot to him and he had to get an answer from her.

,, excuse me for asking, but do you maybe know me from somewhere? '' daniel asked carefully, very quiet, almost close to whispering. ,, do i seem any familiar to you? ''

her eyed widened with shock before she started analyzing his face. she took her glasses out of her pocket, put them on and after she stared at him for probably more than 30 seconds, she took them off again with a sigh and shook her head. then she giggled again.

,, no, you don't seem any familiar to me. at least i don't remember you at first sight. why? are you famous? '' she asked again with a giggle. ,, should i have seen you somewhere? should i know you? ''

innerly, daniel sighed out of relieve. he was much more calmer now and actually had the small courage inside him that made him want to tell her the truth. for now, he was completely sure that nothing will happen to anyone he knows.

she may be lying to him. but older people usually never know anything about idols since they are far out of age plus it's not a thing for them. elderly people usually have nothing to do with kpop and idols. maybe they're listening to music of them sometimes because of their grandchilds, but for sure they wouldn't recognize an idol on a plane all of a sudden.

,, no, of course i'm not famous. it's just that my friends sometimes tell me i look like some actor online. '' daniel said, lying straight into her face. he felt bad for lying but he had no other choice. at least not for now. ,, there are also some days where girls come to me and ask me for a autograph even though i am not that actor. it's so awkward once they actually find out that they've mistaken me for that actor. it was such a weird experience... ''

she laughed again, completely believing what he just said. ,, haha, that really must've been so weird. ''

,, it was. it was very weird. '' daniel laughed back.

well, the part with girls recognizing him was not lied at all. daniel gets recognized everywhere nowadays, no matter which country he visits. there is always a wannable somewhere under the crowds of people in the cities. it makes him very happy knowing that he's made it this far and that he's become this famous in the whole world. but sometimes, on rough or tiring days, he only wished for peace and silence which sometimes does not happen like he wants to.

,, so, back to where i actually was, why are you this anxious? you still haven't told me the real reason for that. your aura is so nervous and your face also tells me that something is up. i can feel that something's up. '' she said again, making daniel's heartbeat increase very fastly, making the fear in his body reproduce itself.

for a second, daniel was actually having a fight in his own body and in his own mind. he was debating whether to actually tell her or not. but the smile on her face and her continously friendly- and kindness made all negative aspects turn around. she looked like someone she could trust which is why he actually told her what was going on in his life at the moment.

,, well, i'm on my way to my boyfriend at the moment. '' daniel started carefully, picking his words very carefully and thinking through them with lots of care. ,, i don't know if you can actually call him my boyfriend anymore. we had a huge fight a few days ago and i really messed everything between us two up which lead to the point of him moving out temporary because he couldn't stand to be in a room alone with me anymore. i messed everything up. i messed our relationship, our friendship and our actual closeness up and i really hate myself for doing that. i was busy that week and my head has been burning and hurting the whole day. and i broke up with him because i thought he deserved someone better than me. and now, now we're worse than strangers. ''

the plane actually started moving since daniel started to talk. she however didn't listen to the sounds the plane made while starting. she only watched daniel and listened very carefully to everything the much, much younger male said beside her. she listened to his whole rant.

after daniel finished with his small explination of what roughly happened, he sighed and closed his eyes once again. he was done, completely done. always having been practically almost forced to tell what happened drained all the energy out of his body. he has lost his whole hyperness since that day he broke up and ever since then, his mind and his body was way, way weaker than it actually was or should've been. his body didn't listen to him anymore and all his dance moves looked raw and not sharp and coordinated at all.

,, you did something bad, that's true. you messed up, very much even. '' she mumbled, trying her best to not hurt the male. ,, however, look at you now. you know that you did the wrong thing. you know that what you did was wrong and not okay at all. you are on your way to make everything okay between the two of you again right now which means that he still means a lot to you. that means a lot. ''

she was right somehow, but somehow daniel also felt like that wasn't the end. he wasn't calmer, instead, he felt even more bad now. he knows he fucked up, he knows that.

,, listen to me. '' she suddenly said after a while which was spent in nothing but pure silence except the few sounds the plane created. ,, please don't always think of the worst. you don't know what he's going through right now or how he feels right now. maybe he also feels the same like you. he'd be so happy to see you in front of his own door later, he'll be incredibly happy then. so please stop being this negative and think about good things instead. i'm sure everything will turn out alright in the end. i can sense that. ''

those words of hers actually managed to light daniel's soul and mind up a bit, make it slightly more comfortable and calmer. she was right and daniel also knew that.

he sighed, before smiling at her, showing her how thankful he is for all she did to him during the flight.

,, thank you so much for everything. all of this really means a lot to me and i can't tell you how thankful i am because there's no word that could actually explain that. still, thank you a lot. '' he said, smiling at her.

she only waved a hand in front of her and told him that it's alright and that she's happy he's acting fine again. and that's how their conversation ended. afterwards, daniel decided to get a bit of sleep till he's finally where he's been wanting to go for the longest time now. he'll finally meet jihoon again and he honestly can't wait for it.

\-----------------------------------------

,, the plain is arriving in five minutes. please make sure you got everything in order to leave the plane. thank you. ''

daniel opened his eyes before streching himself and finally taking his bag, checking if everything is inside before waiting for a bit till the plane officially landed. once another announcement arrived, saying that the plane landed, he stood up and headed to the exit, taking a hold of his suitcase. the second he went outside the huge building, daniel noticed that it was raining, rather harsh and strong even. it wasn't the best weather, definitely not the best, but daniel had to what he had to.

he pressed himself further to the street through all the people until he waited for a taxi to arrive which surprisingly arrived rather early at the airport. daniel was glad about that and stepped inside. the driver looked at him weirdly. daniel didn't look exactly 'clean' so it was understandable.

daniel's clothes were soaked, his hair glued on his forehead with lots of water. but that was literally nothing daniel had to and wanted to worry about.

,, could you please drive to the address on this paper? thank you. '' was all daniel said to him before he passed the paper to the front, letting the driver read it before he started the engine again and started to drive.

the drive towards jihoon's house wasn't long, it was rather short even, but to daniel, it felt like years, like centuries even. it was a feeling he has never felt before and it was killing him from inside. it hurt and bit at the same time and daniel had no idea what to do against it. he just decided to look out of the window.

it would've been incredibly beautiful and pretty here if it wouldn't have rained this much. the grass was completely wet, the water collecting itself on the streets to a puddle. it almost looked like the weather was crying and feeling with both daniel and jihoon. it looked exactly like that.

,, we're here. please step out if you've got everything with you. '' said the driver.

daniel stared outside, looking at the house jihoon was inside before he gave the money over to the driver, thanked him and finally stepped out of the taxi again. the cold air hit daniel's face like a wave, like a huge, cold wave. the air was much colder than he actually expected it to be. the car drove away behind him, throwing some of the water on the streets on the male, wetting him even more.

daniel only sighed and growled a bit. he knew the driver did that on purpose, but he did not care a lot about that anymore because he was already wetter than the word wet can actually explain. he was soaked, completely soaked and it already felt like the cold water went inside his body. he watched the car drive away before he took a deep breath, walking slowly closer to the house. it wasn't all too big, but it looked very cozy and comfortable.

daniel knew that someone was inside becuase of the lights that were on. someone was also watching tv what the crazy lights against the curtains told him. that meant a good thing which made daniel relieved. daniel has probably never felt like this in his whole life and he doesn't plan on ever feeling like that again. not even the final of produce 101 made him feel like this. daniel shook his head before looking ahead again.

jihoon was exactly behind these walls and daniel's heartbeat started to rise again, beating against his rips like crazy. he was both nervous and excited at the same time which was definitely a bad combination. the cold weather and air wasn't even in his thoughts anymore, he didn't care about them anymore.

daniel was here to change what he did wrong, he was here to change their future. he took a deep breath before he finally knocked twice on the door jihoon was behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hELLO! i'm not dead yet lmao i am still alive.  
> its been a while since i last updated this. thats because i was very busy with school and real life the last few weeks/months. now, i'm finally on break which means i'll finally finish this. i hope people are still reading this.  
> thank you so much for clicking on this and have a nice day!!


	4. beautiful

the moment the door opened, jihoon's confused face was revealed to the world outside the house. and at the same time, it felt as if time stopped for daniel. daniel's heart turned soft the second he looked at jihoon again. it hasn't been that long, but it felt like years to daniel. jihoon didn't change much except the fact that his hair was messy and cute on top of his head instead of being perfectly styled. the rest of him looked exactly the same and that small fact made daniel's insides turn upside down.

the second jihoon actually recognized who stood in front of him, his eyes immediately widened, his mouth opening a bit - in both surprise and puzzlement. jihoon looked so comfortable and warm. meanwhile daniel looked like he swam through the whole atlantic and he looked very cold. there was a huge difference between them at the moment. it almost looked like they came from two different worlds.

the only thing that seemed similar between the two males was their gaze and their eyes. both of their gazes looked empty and emotionless, sad and hurt. that's something they both shared at the moment. and that also showed the results of what they did. both of them received hurt due to what happened that one day. daniel felt bad, incredibly bad because of what he did to jihoon. he felt really bad.

,, daniel? kang daniel? is that really you? '' jihoon shouted through the rain, hoping the older male will hear him which he did. he obviously was still shocked about daniel suddenly appearing here. ,, why the hell are you here? what are you even doing here? ''

daniel only managed to nod and answer the first question due to the cold wind that was close on freezing him in the wide open world. jihoon apparently seemed to notice that daniel wasn't feeling his best at the moment and immediately grabbed his arm and dragged him inside the warm, cozy house of his. apparently he was alone here because no other people appeared or were heard inside.

,, god, you're so fucking stupid, kang. '' jihoon whispered. these words were probably words daniel shouldn't have heard, but he did anyway which resulted to him smiling a bit.

even though they were on the worst terms at the moment, jihoon did not even hesitate to help daniel. he should've closed the door in front of daniel's face the second he saw him or should've screamed at him that he should leave him alone. but no. neither of these things happened and daniel now had no idea what to think anymore. he never even thought about jihoon actually helping him in the end.

jihoon brought him to the living room where the tv was running, showing some kind of romance drama at the moment which jihoon probably watched before he stood up and opened the door. he probably didn't even think about daniel at the moment. he probably interrupted jihoon and the things he was doing at the moment and he was once again feeling bad.

jihoon pushed him down to sit on the couch and gave him some warm blankets from the chair next to the doorframe. the whole time, both of them did their best on not looking into the others eyes. the atmosphere was awkward and daniel was sure jihoon could also feel that. it was a weird atmosphere.

,, stay here. '' jihoon then said, his voice serious and stern.

daniel only nodded before taking his wet coat off and wrapping himself in the many blankets he just got from jihoon. said male was leaving the room to go god knows where. daniel only stared into the nothingness while waiting for the younger male to arrive again which took less time than actually expected. he was already there in three minutes while daniel thought about what to say and how to apologize in an appropriate way. he just sat there and thought, thought, thought...

it was like everything outside his thoughts were blocked away. that was only until jihoon appeared in his field of view. he flinched a bit back before his eyes focused on jihoon in front of him. said male looked slightly angry and stressed now.

,, hello? back on earth again? i asked you thousands of questions already and what have you done? nothing. you didn't even look at me. wow, thanks for that. '' jihoon mumbled, not happy at all with the current situation. he was angry, you could sense that just from the way his body moved and how his eyes glowed.

daniel's head only sank downwards. he felt kind of bad for not listening to him. ,, i'm sorry. i was lost in thoughts. and then you appeared in front of me. i'm sorry for not listening. ''

jihoon only raised his eyebrows at him before he sat down on the chair next to him, taking a good look at daniel, studying how he looks like before sighing and rubbing a hand against his face. jihoon was completely stressed about the current situation since he didn't know what to do as well. daniel hurt him so incredibly much but now he's here all of a sudden, sitting on jihoon's sofa, wrapped in his own soft blankets. he didn't know what to do with that fact at the moment. it was weird, completely weird. he wanted to ask why exactly daniel is here at the moment and what he wants here. but he couldn't find any energy or courage for that. so he just decided to wait and look at daniel, look how his ex-boyfriend developed in those days away from him.

the bags under daniel's eyes told jihoon a lot about the older ones feelings. jihoon finally saw that he wasn't the only one affected with what happened and that made him feel somewhat better. he could see how tired and restless daniel was, how he couldn't really sleep comfortable anymore. and the thing that scared him the most was that daniel's usual strong energy was completely gone. lots of people usually felt the energetic puppy, the strong and happy energy that usually flew out of him, but now, there was absolutely nothing of that there anymore. daniel wasn't as energetic as usual anymore. he wasn't energetic at all.

but before jihoon could even ask about any of that, daniel suddenly started to talk again, scaring jihoon a bit.

,, jihoon, i want you to listen very carefully to me now. '' daniel started, his eyes averting to jihoon and jihoon only. ,, i want to tell you something very important. that's the reason why i came here to you. so please listen to me, okay? ''

jihoon only nodded, innerly already starting to panic about what's about to happen. jihoon had no idea what daniel's about to say now and he was scared about that. he however still nodded. he wanted to know the reason daniel was in his house at the moment. thats something he wanted to know the most now.

,, okay, so where do i start? i'll just start at the beginning... that week when, you know what happened, was one of the worst weeks in my whole idol career. i have never been this stressed and tired. i had to do so many things all at the same time and rush from that place to the other place, i had to attend shootings there and there and god. i- i just lost my sanity at one point and felt like shit. i released all of that stress on you that day and... god... i'm so sorry for what i did that day. i never wanted to do that and i feel so fucking bad because of that. '' he said, lowering his head again, not having the courage to look at jihoon anymore. he felt ashamed of what he did.

jihoon however only widened his eyes. he didn't expect a apology right now so he was very shocked about that. but at the same time, he also felt like crying. daniel legit came and searched him only to aplogize for what he did to jihoon. daniel traveled through the country only to come to him and apologize. he was also here to explain what made him explode that much that day. and those two facts alone already meant so much to jihoon.

jihoon could also notice that daniel's voice was deeper and less softer than usual, very raw and rough, almost like he just woke up from a long sleep. he really looked like shit and apparently his voice also was like that. daniel really wasn't feeling well at the moment, jihoon could tell that.

,, the moment you ran away from the practice room was the worst for me. i wanted to run after you and stop you, talk to you and already explain everything, but i couldn't because our members stopped me from going at first. but after i managed to get away from them and run home, it was already too late. you were already gone and... fuck, that moment was the worst. i didn't feel happy anymore, i didn't want to do anymore and just lost all my motivation for everything. i don't even know what i felt, i couldn't feel anything anymore. it just hurt so much. it still does. '' he explained, picking his words carefully.

he wanted to tell jihoon everything, from how he felt and why he did what he did to what happened in the end. he felt like jihoon had to know about these facts.

,, is that the reason why you're on a hiatus at the moment? is that why you're absent from all activities? '' jihoon suddenly asked.

that surprised daniel. that surprised him a lot. he didn't know that jihoon actually still kept track with all the things that were going on with wanna one and daniel. that he knows about that surprised him a lot. but it also made his heart skip a beat.

daniel only nodded though. ,, yeah. after forcing me to work the first few days, they somewhen saw that i have no fun at all anymore and that i don't want to do anything related to that at the moment. they then just released that statement without actually telling me one day. but in the end, i'm glad they did that. ''

daniel sighed, his small breath warming the cold air around him up a bit. he was nervous for some reason and he couldn't stand that at all.

,, i'm just gonna be honest with you. i miss you so fucking much. i miss you so, so much. '' daniel exclaimed and lifted his head again, standing up and walking over to where jihoon sat at the moment. he knelt down in front of jihoon, still looking straight into his eyes. for jihoon, all of that was a bit too much at the moment which is why he flinched a bit backwards into the seat, trying to create some space between the two of them. daniel noticed that, but still continued to talk to him and explain everything.

,, i want you to know that it wasn't the real me who hurt you like that the one day. i know that it sounds stupid, but i wasn't myself and i had no control over my body and myself at all. i didn't know what i was doing. i know that it's incredible hard to trust me and believe me after everything i did and say to you, but i cannot continue to live this way. everything, literally everything hurts and not seeing you, smiling and hugging me when i wake up is the most hardest thing. i just can't continue that way, jihoon. '' daniel continued, hitting jihoon's heart with each word he said.

it was hard to not just reach forward and hug daniel, wrap his arms around him and comfort him, but jihoon couldn't do that at the moment. all the hurt he received from the man in front of him was hitting him all at once now again and it simply hurt.

,, daniel, you hurt me so fucking much. everything you said to me, i never managed to get over those words or forget them at all. all of that hurt so much and it still hurts. '' jihoon whispered, his voice quiet, showing daniel how hurt he really is. jihoon's voice was raw and rough. ,, so how can you be sure that something like this won't happen again? how can you be so sure about that? can you even be sure about that? ''

and this time, jihoon broke down. he couldn't stand all of this anymore. he didn't have any time to prepare himself for what daniel would say to him and he was shocked. now, everything he hold inside himself was flowing out of him like a waterfall. small, shiny tears started to make their way out of jihoon's deep, brown eyes - gliding down his face like small drops of fresh water.

at the same time, jihoon was also afraid of what could happen in the future. innerly, he was already so close on forgiving daniel for what he did. but no matter how much he wanted to forgive him, he could not do that. at least not yet. he was afraid of the future.

jihoon thought about so many things all at once. they were all related to the future - to what may happen if he forgives him now. he was afriad. he was most afraid of getting hurt the same way again. he knows daniel is busy, very busy even. so what if the same happens again? what if daniel looses control like this again?

jihoon was having an inner fight with himself at the moment and he couldn't decide what to do. it just hurt more and more, the tears now running down his cheeks non-stop. he wasn't even trying on hiding them anymore. he was just done with the whole world at the moment.

the sight of those tears made daniel emotional as well. he himself was very close on crying. the situation at the moment was crushing his whole heart. both jihoon and daniel were hurting at the moment. daniel however didn't want to break down already. he first wanted to tell jihoon everything before he would cry everything out. he innerly decided to only start crying after he told him about everything.

daniel's hands reached forwards and touched jihoon's cheeks carefully, brushing the tears that ran their way down away. after he disposed of all the tears on jihoon's face, he let his hands rest there, carefully lifiting jihoon's headso he'll look into daniel's face. after jihoon's eyes finally met daniel's ones, he managed to smile a bit. this time though, the tears were also running out of daniel's eyes.

,, jihoon, i want you to know that i promise you that something like this won't ever happen again. i am sure about that. you can trust me with that. i had so much time to think about everything the past days and i know that what i did was unacceptable in every way possible. and i also know that i will never do something like this again. i promised myself that. i can't do that again, i just can't live through the same one more time. it already hurts more than enough now. going through all of that another time... i can't even think about that. i will never do something like this again. i promise you, park jihoon. '' daniel said, his tears making him choke on his words from time to time. ,, can you forgive me at least a bit? if you stay with me for a few days, i will show syou that i've changed for sure and that i'm much more careful with my words now. ''

jihoon had already decided moments ago that he would forgive daniel. seeing him like this, crying in front of him because of what he did, hurt a lot. but it showed jihoon that daniel indeed really hated himself for what he did at the moment and that he woud never do something like this ever again.

jihoon decided to trust him with what he said. at least for now.

,, are you really sure about everything you just promised me? '' jihoon whispered weakly, looking directly forwards into daniel's brown eyes.

he only nodded before repeating the promise from earlier once again. ,, yes, i promise. i promise to never hurt you and to take care of you as much as possible. i will never hurt you ever again. ''

and that's when jihoon finally did what he already wanted to do the second daniel showed up behind his door. jihoon reached forwards and wrapped his arms aroun daniel, dragging daniel closer to himself on the chair. daniel was half on him and still half on the floor, but neither of them cared at the moment. the second daniel's chest hit jihoon's was when the older male wrapped his arms around him too, pressing his face carefully into the soft material of jihoon's oversized sweater.

jihoon softly sniffed at daniel's hair. the familiar scent of his drang into his nose and he sighed in relief and in happiness. daniel's hair smelled exactly like it used to and that fact made him feel like he was at home again, back with daniel in their dorm, back with wanna one. innerly, jihoon prayed that something like this hopefully never happens again. he doesn't want something like this to happen again.

the two probably spent half an hour like this, cuddling, holding themselves as close as possible. they had missed each other like crazy and now, they're finally in each others arms again. daniel would never forget the way his heart bloomed and warmed up when jihoon started to hug him. that feeling warmed his whole body up and revived the energy and motivation he lost. he felt happy again, more than happy even.

,, i really am sorry for what i did. '' daniel all of a sudden mumbled into jihoon's sweater, his voice slightly unstable because of the sweater's material. he pressed his face deeper into jihoon's sweater. ,, i hope you can forgive me, jihoon. ''

jihoon only sighed before letting his hands run through daniel's soft hair, massaging his scalp carefully. he really missed doing this. he missed just sitting somewhere with daniel, hugging him, talking with him or, like now, running his hands through his hair and patting his head. he really missed this.

jihoon sighed big before he leaned downwards and pressed a short, however sweet and meaningful kiss on top of daniel's head. he remained in that position for a while before he pulled back again, smilimg down at daniel even though he couldn't see him from down there. ,, i do forgive you, you oversized puppy. '' jihoon then said, still smiling.

the second jihoon's lips touched daniel's head was the moment the older male was sure about one certian fact. he was 100% sure about one thing.

_**the kiss he received from jihoon right now announced a new chapter in their relationship and in their whole life. that kiss opened a new chapter filled with new things and new adventures. that kiss opened a chapter filled with love and happiness.** _

and that made daniel emotional all of a sudden again. his heart was beating like crazy the whole time. he was incredibly happy that everything turned out to be good again in the end and he was innerly thanking the lady that gave him some motivation in the plane earlier and all of his members that helped him to get jihoon back. without them, this moment right here probably wouldn't have happened.

daniel lifted his head up only to see jihoon smiling brightly and big at him. he almost cried seeing his lover smile like that at him again. he missed seeing that bright smile of his so much.

he carefully leaned forwards, locking eyes with jihoon for a short moment before laying his lips carefully on top of jihoon's, kissing him very carefully and soft. the moment their lips touched felt like millions of fireworks were going off in both of their hearts. both of their heartbeats went up. it felt exactly like the first time they kissed. this time however, that kiss really opened the newest chapter in their life.

daniel smiled into the kiss, completely satisfied with his life now, before he pulled back a bit, creating some space between them and taking a short breath before speaking out jihoon's most favorite words in the whole world. he really missed hearing those, especially from daniel himself, and hearing them now made him so, so happy.

,, i love you so much , park jihoon. '' daniel whispered before capturing jihoon's lips again. this time, he kissed jihoon sweet and soft, however still passionate, showing him all his feelings.

throughout the whole kiss, jihoon couldn't help himself. he smiled so often during the kiss, he was smiling so often and so brightly. he was so happy again and he loved everything about this moment so much.

the two of them spent the rest of the day in bed with pizza, lots of cuddles and hugs, soft blankets that warmed them up and some romcom movies that were available on netflix at the moment. both of them were happy, were beaming because of all that happiness and love.

and this time, both daniel and jihoon were sure that something like this would never happen again. they were sure of that.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_BREAKING: BOTH DANIEL AND JIHOON CONFIRMED TO BE BACK FROM THEIR HIATUS. THEY BOTH ARE SHINING AND SMILING AGAIN, MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE ALREADY. THEY LOOK VERY HAPPY AGAIN AND FANS ARE GLAD EVERYTHING IS FINE AGAIN. THEY'RE HAPPY THEY'RE BOTH BACK AGAIN._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!  
> i finally finished this fanfiction and i'm so happy. it turned out better than i actually expected to in the beginning and i once again apologize for the huge break in between the second and thrid chapter.  
> as always, i hope you liked this chapter and hopefully also the whole fanfiction itself.  
> any opinions are much appreciated and i would love to hear them!
> 
> thank you so much for reading this fanfiction and have a good day now!

**Author's Note:**

> hello once again from me.  
> i'm back with my second winkniel fanfiction. this time, it's more angst instead of fluff. it's not perfect yet, it's legit far from even being close to it being somehow okay. but i tried my best with this and i hope you like it !!  
> please tell me if you liked it.  
> it's not finished by the way, there's a second part coming up very soon !!


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